Oh boy. I'm only 11 weeks into my pregnancy and I am ready to be done. I had NO idea there were so many symptoms associated with pregnancy. For the first 10 or so weeks they were mostly physical (I was nauseous, constipated, gassy, exhausted) Sorry, I know, TMI.
Now I'm entering the realm of emotional symptoms... and whoa - it ain't pretty!
Goodbye morning sickness, hello mood swings! This is something like PMS, on some level, but this is PMS times a gazillion.
One minute, I'm crying uncontrollably. That minute can last anywhere from a few moments to hours. I literally cried like someone died for hours one day because my husband said 'the wrong thing.' I cried through 2 hours of the show XFactor. A singing contest. Every song made me cry.
Another minute I am PISSED OFF. Again, because my poor husband 'said the wrong thing.'
Another minute I am jealous beyond all reason. I have no reason to be, mind you.
And another minute I could be ridiculously giddy and seemingly normal. Don't be fooled! I am NOT stable and these 'normal' moments are fleeting.
Can someone please find the old Nicole and return her?
I thought pregnancy was supposed to be beautiful, and happy! (Anyone who has been pregnant is laughing uncontrollably, I'm sure.) So far I have been an unstable farting machine. Beautiful? HA! That glow on my face? That's grease. Happy? HA! Get too close and I might hurt you.
I hope that this all changes once the baby is born, though I'm petrified that the guaranteed lack of sleep and chance of postpartum depression is just going to make this worse. I think I will express my concerns with my doctor. I can't live like this for too long, and I would like to stay married through this experience!!
A friend of mine gave me a great book for Jason. It's perfectly named 'Pregnancy Sucks. What to do when your miracle makes you both miserable.' Honestly, I'm learning as much from reading it as he is. It makes me feel like I'm not the only one feeling this way, that in many ways it's 'normal' (even though I feel anything but.) It doesn't really help change anything. Jason still wants the old me back, as do I. But I guess it does help us both know that it's only temporary, and it's not just us...
As a final note, I've heard people talk about a 'push present' that the husband is to present to his wife as a 'thank you' for carrying and delivering the baby. If that is true, then I owe him a 'thank you' as well for living with (and not killing) this crazy-ass-bitch that took over his life for 40 weeks (and possibly longer!)
sooooooooo... should i have not told you that we were almost out of toilet paper while you were walking out the door to go to the corner store and just let you find out the hard way this morning ?? :P
ReplyDeletei love you nicole! :)
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