Baby has a name!

Given my cravings lately, I should probably just name the baby "Fudge." I'm really uninterested in anything 'savory' lately and would be completely ok skipping every meal in favor of dessert. Of course, I am eating normal foods but even then I try to sweeten them up. Breakfast? Waffles and syrup or a sweet cereal. And I get through my lunch and dinner just to get to the fudge, thin mints, ice cream... or all 3.
While near and dear to my heart, Fudge might not help him with his popularity in school. 


And so, we will call him Trent Alexander.


I used a name book and some online name dictionaries and came up with a list of names for my husband to review. This was the only one he liked which made it easy! We think that it's unique enough to be different, but common enough that people will recognize it and not wonder how to spell it or say it. 


And so there we are. I will no longer have to refer to him as 'baby' when blogging and now you all know who we are welcoming into the world. I can't wait to meet him!!!!

22 weeks and dreaming...

Sorry blog followers!! I realize that I have been a bit absent from filling you in the last few weeks. I committed to writing at least once a week to let you know what's going on with my growing belly and the cutie pie inside of me. But I missed week 21 and now you'll have to bear with me as I catch you up on everything. So get comfortable.


To be honest, the last few weeks I've been achey and moody. The Christmas holiday was getting me down - but forget all that! I have this whole week off, Christmas is OVER (yessss) and I'm feeling good (today)!


So where do I start?
Well, I'm 22 weeks today and looking at the calendar it's starting to sink in that we will get to meet our son in the next 4 months!! WHOA! That is SOON! January will fly by because we're traveling to Mexico, we have snowy February, March is my baby shower, and then the baby could really come anytime in April!
I feel him move all the time now and the "fluttery" or "squirming" feeling has been replaced with real kicks. He's letting mommy know that he's growing strong and he's getting ready to meet his family!! Unfortunately Daddy hasn't felt it yet but I'm sure he will soon. I can feel it from the outside every now and then but as soon as I move over to Daddy to snuggle in hopes that he'll feel a kick, baby settles down.


I find that I dream about him often. I picture what he will look like and he is always the happiest baby. In my last dream he looked at me after he was born and just smiled the cutest happiest smile. That's what dreams are for :-) I KNOW he will be born screaming his tiny little head off but in my fantasy he is cute, pink, has a head FULL of hair and just loves his mommy to pieces. 


I'm also getting a lot bigger so he's making his presence known there. All I can say is THANK YOU for maternity clothes. I really don't know what I would do without full panel maternity leggings, maternity jeans, and maternity tops. I'm telling you, buying a medium or a large just does NOT work. Not for me anyway. I'm very lucky to have the maternity wardrobe that I do. I got some great hand me downs, a gift card for my birthday to Motherhood and lots more gifts for my bday and xmas. It's just too depressing to even try to put on any of my old clothes. They look SO weird. Maternity clothes aren't baggy all over - just in the belly. So they fit everywhere that you are NOT pregnant. It will probably be an adjustment to get back into clothes that aren't so comfortable!


And speaking of gifts - baby got some AMAZING gifts this xmas. Notably, a friend handed down her son's wardrobe to the baby and I can't believe how much there is. It's truly amazing. Baby also got his first pair of Nike Jordan's from his Aunt and Uncle and they are TOO cute!! His grandmother knitted him a blanket and daddy's family recorded their voices onto a book! He also got some really sweet gear for the upcoming Red Sox season! A green 'monstah' onesie and a 'Yankees Yuck!' onesie. Daddy bought him a Sox jacket to match.


Daddy also got me these really cool things called Belly Buds. They are specifically designed to play music to the baby!! They stick to my belly and I have been playing music for him and he seems to respond! I created a Pandora station of classical music and baby lullabyes. Here's a picture of me using them:

Ok what else?
Well, onto the standard weekly update, baby is as long as a spaghetti squash! Which explains my expanding waistline! He is almost a pound and has lots of deep wrinkles in his skin because really soon he's going to start to fill in with lots of fat, making that cute chubby face that we'll get to see soon!
We get to go see him in 3D after we return from Mexico and I can't wait!


I think that just about covers it!! I hope to have some more exciting updates for you as the weeks pass. To end, here are a few pics of me from Xmas:

Nesting!!!

I finally understand what this nesting phenomenon is all about. I am in full force nesting mode and loving it. The baby's nursery is coming right along.


In the past week we had the nursery painted, furniture delivered and crib assembled. I had a friend basically give me her child's entire wardrobe up through size 3 months and it was SO fun to look at everything, fold it all and organize it into the dresser. I bought some of the items for the baby's "theme" and started to decorate and I love how everything is coming together. I love walking by his room and picturing him in there. Looking at the clothes I couldn't wait to see them on the baby. So, yeah, I'm getting really excited!!


If I didn't have to wait for the shower, I would have everything purchased and set up by now haha. But I'm really looking forward to having all my friends and family together to "shower" the baby in presents and I can't wait to start planning it with my sister. 


Here is a sneek peek at the baby's crib with the "monkey rockstar" theme:

20 weeks - HALFWAY THERE!

WOOOHOOO!!! I'm halfway there!
Ok I really had to muster up that excitement. Yes, I am truly happy that I am halfway there, but I have had a tough couple of weeks...


Let's just say mommy isn't doing too well. Pelvis aches. Lower back aches at night, keeping me up most nights. I'm sleeping propped up on a hundred pillows (which seems to help a bit.) I'm having another tooth pulled this week (ow.) The holidays are depressing and stressful. 
All I want to do is hold my baby boy in my arms and shower him with love and kisses...


Ok ok ok ... before this gets TOO depressing, there is a bright side. We booked a trip to Mexico in January and we are definitely excited to be getting away, into the sunshine, into the pool, and for Jay - into a lot of tequila. This babymoon concept is a great one, except for the sobriety part. I think I'll have to plan this vacation again for 2013. Daddy will watch baby by the pool while mom drowns herself in a drink that will look something like this:
(I actually drank this drink, nicknamed 'Wilson' on our honeymoon. And then passed out by the pool for a few hours. GLORIOUS.)

Ok, now onto baby. He's kicking up a storm and it's the most amazing feeling in the world. Despite the aches and pains, I love those kicks. He's getting bigger and stronger and now at week 20 we measure him from head to toe (rather than head to bum) and he is as big as a banana! At this point I've gained about 10 pounds and I'm expected to gain about a pound a week for the next 20 weeks. Whoa.

A lot of the same stuff continues on this week for baby... baby's bones are hardening, tooth buds sprouting, finger prints almost completely in place. New this week is that the eyelashes and eyebrows are in place (cute!). 

My hormones are taking over and I already love this little person with such a protective force, I can't describe it. I love my husband more and more and feel closer to him each day. It's truly amazing... So here's to hoping that the next 20 weeks pass even more quickly than the first 20!!

19 weeks - almost halfway there!

So my 19 week update says this:
"Think you're big now? You'll start growing even faster in the weeks to come."


Oh boy. Oh I KNOW I said I couldn't wait to get the trademark pregnant belly. I know. I'm sorry. I take it back. Go easy on me, I'm new to this.
I'm not ready to grow anymore! This is big enough, thankyouverymuch. I'm already having trouble sleeping due to lower back pain and it doesn't look like my maternity shirts can handle much more! And I have 20 more weeks to go!? Yikessssss.....


I feel the baby move a lot now. It's really cool. It's the strangest sensation and I'm sure will change with time as this little hockey player inside of me grows bigger and stronger. For now it feels like squirming. Sometimes a thump here and there. I felt it from the outside of my belly for the first time yesterday when I had my arm there and I was typing. I can't wait for Jay to feel it, but it's not consistent enough yet, or strong enough yet.


Ok but enough about mama. For this week's food comparison I bring you an heirloom tomato. Baby is 6 inches head to bum and about 1/2 a pound. His brain is developing senses like hearing, taste, smell, touch, etc. They think he can hear me now and I tried to put headphones on my belly to see how he'd react. He was squirming around alright! I think baby is due for a flashlight hip-hop dance-a-thon! 
His arms and legs are the right proportions to the rest of his body now so they say that he actually looks like a very mini baby now. In the next few weeks he will start to develop all that good baby fat that makes babies so chubby and cute. We get to see him again in January for our 3D/4D visit and I hope he bulks up by then so we can get some good chubby cheeks pictures!

Some days a tear, Some days a smile...

I have seen my share of both over the last week and it's been a tough one. I am certainly being tested and have been trying to focus on relaxing and laughing. Stress in my body now affects two people and I am working hard to make a calm happy place for baby to grow.


In the last week, I have had to deal with heartache of seeing my Dad in a nursing home, and the sadness and struggles that are a part of that life. I've found out that my baby is a boy and while this is not a sad thing, it was most certainly a surprise and a stressful event. I had the traumatic experience of having a tooth pulled and the fun that's come with that healing process. I've had to deal with terrible customer service at Comcast (oh I know this sounds silly to include but you all know what I am talking about if you've ever been in the situation...) My company was acquired which in many ways is a very exciting and profitable thing for me and my family, but leaves me with many uncertainties and questions, specifically around my healthcare at a time where I cannot afford any major changes in that aspect.


So, as the title of this blog suggests, some days there were tears, and some days we've had smiles.


We decorated our tree last night and it was a particularly fantastic end to a rough week. We had a lot of fun doing it. Lots of laughs, lots of smiles, and lots of memories made. 
I also attended the most amazing yoga experience ever - Restorative Yoga. It was 2 hours of relaxing stretches, cool eye pillows, massages and essential oils all meant to detox my body from stress. Yep sounds super hippy but it was unbelievable. I plan to make this a monthly ritual until I get too big. The teacher was really accommodating and worked with me when I couldn't participate in certain poses (like all of the back work.) And baby LOVED yoga class too. I think the rushes of happiness neurons made him happy too and he was moving all around. I imagined he was doing baby yoga :-)


I have had enough surprises for the last week, and I'm hoping for a quiet and predictable week, though I suspect that it will be anything but... We are attending my work Xmas party (Bruins game!) this week and we're also having dinner in Boston this weekend for my sister's birthday. So I'm hoping that the excitement will divert our attention away from some of our stresses.


Here is a pic of my growing bump in front of the tree!

18 weeks and growing!

Ok ok so I know I said that I couldn't wait to get the baby bump... well I have it. I feel huge. I know that I'm not, but I feel that way. I don't feel fat, I just feel awkward. 


For anyone who has never been pregnant, I am here to tell you the truth! Being pregnant does not feel cute. Yes, I feel happy and I love feeling the baby move, but I'm also really uncomfortable. I'm experiencing pretty severe pelvic pain. It hurts to walk after sitting or standing still for too long. I have to sleep with a huge body pillow between my legs just to get some rest. I hurt all the way from my back, down to my hips, to my thighs... I hurt in places I didn't know could hurt! Yeah, and I'm not even halfway there. FUN!


As a follow up to my "she's a ... boy" post yesterday - I have to say that I'm adjusting much more quickly than I imagined. It really is true what they say about a mother's love... you will love your child no matter what. We are working on picking out a new name quickly so we can give the 'new' baby his own identity. It's been fun. So far Jason's top picks are Romeo, Elvis and Jesus. hahaha
I've received lots of offers from my mom friends to pass along their old baby boy clothes, and I think that's great. I'm still a bit sad about getting rid of the girl clothes, because we all know that girls clothes are just SOOOOO cute.... But I look forward to dressing my little man in his cool guy clothes.


I wrote a Yelp review about my experience at Goldenview (where they told me that the baby was a girl.) I have to say that I'm very happy with their quick response. Yes, my yelp review was a bit harsh, but I wrote the truth. They offered me a full refund of the Gender Check package and a free visit for the 3D/4D package.


Ok enough about mama... how is baby?
Well he's growing...a lot! Hence all my new discomforts and awkwardness. Head to bum he's about 5 1/2 inches (the size of a bell pepper.) In just 2 more weeks he'll be the length of a banana - double in length! Oh boy!
He's moving and kicking around, which we saw on the ultrasound. I feel it sometimes, but not too strong just yet. He's healthy and everything is tracking where it should be.
I'm reading that this week is about poop! The baby is starting to collect meconium. (ick!)


I think that baby's life is going to get a bit boring from here on out. His main role is to just keep growing, and chub up! I'm pretty sure that I've had my last ultrasound for this pregnancy so I won't see him again until I schedule my 3D/4D ultrasound. 
I'm sure that there will be lots of changes to ME however so stay tuned as we follow this crazy journey together :-)

She's a .... BOY!!??

NEVER doubt a mother's instinct... 
I had my 18 week ultrasound today and wouldn't you know, my fears were right. My little baby girl is actually a baby BOY!
(pause for shock)
Yes, you heard it. Einhorn is Finkle!


So, we go in today and during the ultrasound I decided not to mention our early elective gender check. The u/s tech is going through all of the motions... measuring baby's head, abdomen, 10 fingers, 10 toes, strong beating heart... and a scrotum...!!?? Cue the tears.
Of course, that's not the typical reaction to finding out the gender of your baby and so the tech started to question why I was crying. Jason explained and she felt badly for me. She had actually worked at Goldenview for a few months and quit.


First let me say this: the baby is completely normal and healthy and every way. And for that I am so very thankful. I love this little being inside of me with such a protective and fierce love that it doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl.
BUT - I felt such a sense of shock, and loss, that it took me a while to come to grips with this news. I connected with what I thought would be a daughter... I bought clothes, I received pink gifts... Who would believe this would really happen!?
I'm surprisingly feeling ok about it now. Not 100% ok, but a lot better than I expected. So, I lost some $$ on some clothes. I can return most of it hopefully, and I can donate the rest to a family who needs it. So I have to pick out a new nursery theme... No big deal. The furniture and glider I picked out is neutral, the room hasn't been painted. And so life goes on...


I'm disappointed that Goldenview advertises that they can check gender so early and I think it's a terrible business practice. I'm disappointed that the u/s tech had sent us out of there saying that it was "100% a girl" when she should have known that it may not have been. The doctor said that the scrotum sometimes doesn't descend until around 18 weeks, and the boy parts can be hiding. Today, our little boy was having a baby boner and so it was clearly visible. Yes, a baby boner. Jason suprisingly stifled his beavis and butthead laugh when she said that the baby has erections.


So now my mentality shifts a bit. No more cute dresses and hair bows. No cute cupcake outfits, pink polka dots or frilly hearts... Now I have to adjust with another man in the house. We have to teach him how to be respectful of women, smart, strong and focused. I will love him just as much, but just a little differently.
And MAYBE my idea of only having one has changed a little bit... maybe... ;-)

Here are his little feet:

 And a profile pic:

Black Friday + Crazy Pregnant Lady = Success

Ah, black friday. Separating the crazy from the sane. Because seriously, who does this!? Well, I did, but I went to ONE store and I was there at 5am and I saved over $800 in one trip. 


Taking advantage of the first black friday that I was not hung over, I set my alarm clock for 4:15am. I made myself a coffee and headed out on this chilly morning. The roads were dark and empty. When I got to Babies R Us, there were a few women in line. This was their LAST stop. I'm telling you, these people are crazy. Except for the women with their newborns. They were probably thinking, FINALLY! A store that's open when I am. Because they had probably just finished their 4am feeding. 


I was on a mission. I was there to make a very specific purchase and get the hell out of there. Fast. The black friday deal was on a complete set of nursery furniture (crib, changing table and dresser.) Buy all three and you save $750, which is about 50% off the total cost of the set. That's HUGE. I was also there to purchase a glider. A few months earlier I spent time sitting in every glider in that store and found one that was just right for me. Well, the black friday gods saw fit to put that very same glider on sale for 50% off. Oh yeah.


Here is the gorgeous furniture set:

I was in and out of the store and I have to say that my experience was a good one. I will definitely go back next year because the sales on diapers and wipes were insane. However, I doubt I will be up that early again...unless there is another door buster that I just can't resist! Until then, don't count me in the crazy category just yet...

17 weeks and more thankful than ever....

The thought of Thanksgiving, and giving thanks, has a whole new meaning to me this year. I have so much to be thankful for.


I am thankful for the little girl that is strong and healthy in my belly. I am thankful that the second trimester seems to be going by 10 times more quickly than the first did. I am thankful that I have an amazing husband who keeps me laughing and who supports me when I need it most.
I am healthy and happy and very very thankful.


My little bundle is now about 5 inches long and weighs as much as a turnip. Who knows how much a turnip weighs... I sure don't. I've never bought one.
She has her own unique fingerprints in place, her skeleton is hardening and the umbilical cord is getting thicker and stronger.
I have been feeling her move, but it's not strong and not frequent. It kind of feels like I swallowed a goldfish. I'm looking forward to feeling her kicks stronger and more often. But I know... careful what you wish for...


We get to see her again next Monday for the "big" ultrasound, and probably our last. (sad face.) This is called the anatomy ultrasound and I'm told that they check out the baby from head to toe, literally. they will measure her head and measure her abdomen to make sure that she is growing the way she should. They will check to make sure her structures are growing correclty and that she doesn't have things like a cleft palate.
This is also supposed to be when the gender check occurs. I have been stricken with slight panic that they will suddenly tell me I'm having a boy. I've become so attached to my little girl. I know in my heart I would be ok with having a boy, and that I could return all of the clothes that I bought, but I'm hoping that is not the case. So, keep your fingers crossed and hopefully I will be posting more pictures of my 18 week old baby GIRL.


Happy Thanksgiving to you all!!

Baby Disco

I decided to take a recording of baby's heartbeat heartbeat so you all can hear what this sounds like on the doppler. It's kind of cool for me to have the recording too so I can listen to it again without having to go through the trouble of taking out the doppler (which isn't much trouble but the ultrasound gel makes it a teeny bit messy.)

Jay thinks it sounds like house music. It definitely makes me want to dance.

PS: You can see that it says Baby V's heartbeat. If you don't yet know her name, don't ask, we will announce soon :-)

The Preggie Smoothie

So another one of my new obsessions is what I'm calling the preggie smoothie. When it comes to pregnancy cravings, this one isn't weird, and luckily it's healthy, but it's SEVERE. I MUST have this smoothie every morning or I feel that the day is ruined. I know, dramatic, but I'm pregnant. Don't ask.


So finally my Magic Bullet blender, which I had given up on completely, is my savior. Despite the moments I've spent cursing at this thing, I now cannot live without it. I make my smoothie in 5 minutes, and the cleanup is even quicker.


Ingredients I must have in the house so nobody dies:
Bag of frozen fruit (berries)
Orange juice
Vanilla rice milk
Vanilla greek yogurt


I've also been adding flaxseed to the smoothie. I tried adding peanut butter. The result was ok, but a little weird.
Since I don't like actually eating first thing in the morning, but baby is HUNGRY, this smoothie holds me over for a while. Also, with the cold weather here, the heat in the house has been severely drying out my mouth and nose and so the ice cold smoothie is so soothing first thing in the morning.


Here it is:

Out with the old, In with the new...

Habits and obsessions that is.


Let's face it, I have a lot of time on my hands these days. Although I would have loved to think I was going to be that super cool pregnant chick that could hang out and go on partying with my friends (with Odoul's of course)... the fact is that I am just not capable of staying awake.


Sleeping is my "new thing." I thought this was supposed to be isolated to the first trimester. HA. I slept 11 hours last night. No exaggeration whatsoever. I slept through one of my favorite programs...that starts at EIGHT. Yup. I fell asleep on the couch at roughly 730pm. 
I can't really complain about this, since the most common piece of advice I receive is "sleep now before the baby comes." Don't worry folks - I've got it covered.


Next on the list - Shopping. The minute that the ultrasound tech announced I was having a little girl, I swear my credit card smiled. Everyone knows that girls clothes are irresistible. And being the super awesome bargain shopper that I am, I really can't resist. I found $4 outfits at the Children's Place last week at the mall! With sites like zulilly and totsy I'm impressed that I'm actually showing the restraint that I am...
I justify my new shopping habit with the fact that I'm no longer spending $100/week on alcohol and cigarettes. 
Many of my friends say "Don't! Wait for the shower!" I say "You're crazy!" First, if they think that this bored momma isn't going to shop, they must be drunk. Second, I cannot wait until I'm 8 months pregnant to start peanut's wardrobe. Next, I need a LOT of things off my registry. I know that I will get lots of cute clothes (and I can't wait!) but trust me, I have that part covered! I need diapers, and a stroller, and all the other equipment that this little human is suddenly going to require. So while I appreciate that I will be showered in gifts (including clothes) I am going to continue adding that onesie that "I MUST HAVE" to my virtual shopping cart!


Sleeping and shopping are definitely at the top of my list of habits and obsessions. But there is a host of other super crazy pregnancy things that I obsess over.


The nursery - I've spent hours pouring over nursery themes to find the one that is just right for our family. It's kept me up at night. Literally. There was one night that I obsessed over lighting and the possibility of installing track lighting with a dimmer. I don't want to wake up baby with a too bright lamp! Can it be done? Who can do it? Will it be expensive? Should I do it before or after I paint!?


My belly - The belly is a badge of honor. It serves the purpose to tell the world, hey! I'm pregnant. (That's why I just ordered an O'doul's!)
One day I'm so happy! Look at my belly, it's big, it's round, I look pregnant! The next day I think, hey, where is my belly! I don't look 'pregnant enough.' Or I think, what is that lumpy thing!? That's not what it's supposed to look like! 
I hear from friends "Oh wow you're huge for 16 weeks." And the next person will say "Oh, I can barely see you showing." I'm self conscious about this whole thing enough as it is. The only thing anyone should say to a pregnant lady is "You look great." End of story.


My belly AFTER baby - Bathing suit season almost immediately follows my delivery. So, yeah, that should be fun. If you see me swimming in all of my clothes - just tell me I look great.


Breastfeeding - Nothing is more controversial (besides safe sleep techniques maybe) than breastfeeding. Those who breastfeed will INSIST that you HAVE to do it. They will tell you how many months you should breastfeed. "6 months minimum!" "I pumped for 18 months!"
I plan on trying it. I'd like to do it in the beginning so that I can pass along all that healthy good stuff that comes with breast milk. And selfishly, they say it helps you lose weight faster. But you know what!? It sounds HORRIBLE. It sounds painful and it sounds time consuming. Mixing formula looks SO easy. I was bottle fed and I'm smart and healthy... I refuse to feel guilty about the way I choose to feed my baby. So again, please just smile and tell me I look great :-)


Exhibit A: Delivered today! Surprisingly this one was actually for ME and not baby :-)

Week 16... Acceptance

So, here we are, a little past week 16 and you know what... I don't have much to report! Except that I went from hating being pregnant to acceptance. I'm not going to get too crazy and tell you that "I love being pregnant" but I'm kind of ok with it (for now.) And as such, life is kind of boring right now. All of the major testing is out of the way, we know she's a girl, I'm feeling good... Really the only thing I am doing is watching my body morph!


I have been starting to feel the baby move. Nothing strong, and it's not too often, but I feel like I have a goldfish in my belly :-) I have been using the doppler from time to time and her heartbeat is so strong. It's the most beautiful sound in the world.


Each day we fall more and more in love with her and we can't wait to meet her. This is the most exciting and profound thing to happen to our lives. If you ignore my craziness in the first trimester, I have to say this is the most amazing experience. I love my husband more than ever and I am SO excited to see what's next. (I'm scared too, don't get me wrong.)


So let's talk about the little jelly bean, who is actually the size of an avocado, but avocados aren't very cute... She is entering a period of a big growth spurt. Growth spurt for baby means growth spurt for mama, which makes me very thankful for the elastic in maternity jeans! She's about 4 1/2 inches long and everything is moving into place. Her eyes have moved to the front of her head, ears are almost in the right position too, and her neck is straightening out.  Her hair pattern is determined, but she's not growing any hair yet.


We go back to the doctor in a few weeks for an 18 week checkup and another peek at the cutie pie so stay tuned for more pictures!

Bump Disappointment

So, I think I finally 'popped' today. I've got a big ol belly (well it feels like it to me.) I was looking forward to posting pictures but you know what, I am really disappointed with my bump! I don't have the cute bellies that you see on other people - I have this lumpy thing... it's awful! I don't have sexy pregnancy curves - I have folds, and bumps and lumps and rolls... 

Surprisingly I'm not that self conscious about it, or about being naked, because whatever, I'm pregnant, I have no control over this thing. But I do hope that it starts to expand in even directions... Where is the round belly that I see on other cute preggies? 

Then I started to question... is this really a pregnancy belly? Or did I really overdo it on the brownies!? Am I just getting fat or is this baby? 

All of this started to make me question my self image post-pregnancy. Will I 'bounce back' to my 'normal' shape? I've seen some of my friends look just the way they did before baby... and some did not. I know I will never look the same, completely, but I refuse to 'let myself go.' And so my motivation to start exercising begins again. And by exercising I mean walking. At least 3 times a week to start. For at least 30 mins - briskly. I need to start this routine now. Not only is it good for me, it's good for baby.

In other belly news, I think I've been feeling little miss peanut down there squirming around. It's not that strong, but when I sit quietly at work, I feel something. And it's not gas. I know it's her and her lonely disco party :-)

A friend gave me advice today to blast up the music, dance around, and shine a flashlight at my belly. It will get her moving and will be fun for both of us. I think I will do that real soon :-) Thanks Collie!

Sugar and Spice...

And everything nice... That's what little GIRLS are made of!!


We went for an elective ultrasound today to check the baby's gender and we found out that we're having a little girl!
It was a really cool experience. It was like an ultrasound movie theater. There was a giant screen and our parents and siblings were even able to watch it live from home! Truly amazing.


We also got a few peeks using the 3D/4D technology but she's teeny weeny (about 4 inches) which is just right for 15 weeks, but not great for these types of pictures. She has no fat yet. That's ok, I'll be back around 32 weeks :-)


Here are a few of the pictures! See the dots between her legs? That means a girl!

15 weeks and Halloween detoxing

I'm getting my "15 week" blog out a day early, because tomorrow will be dedicated to the "Boy or Girl" blog post!! It won't come out until late in the evening or early Wednesday because our appointment isn't until 730pm. And, I'm trying not to get my hopes TOO high (yeah right) because I know there is the possibility that the nugget might have her legs crossed or be turned the wrong way. FINGERS CROSSED!!!


So 15 weeks have come and gone. I can hardly believe it. I'm starting to actually feel pregnant, which is a good thing in that it feels more real, but a bad thing in that I have this bump that is already getting in the way! Boy am I in for a rude awakening when it actually starts to grow into the real thing! I feel it now when I'm getting dressed and a shirt is too small or too short, or I lean over and this "gut" is in the way. And then I realize, no it wasn't too many peanut butter cups, it's a baby in there.


Which brings me to the subject of those peanut butter cups. Week 15 has me more aware of my body, how I'm treating it, and what I put into it. I purchased some food stuffs to make morning smoothies and although today was the first day, I'm in love! Strawberries, bananas, greek yogurt, soymilk, OJ = YUM. I was eating a healthy breakfast anyway, but what a great way to get all that good stuff in my body in one quick drink...
I'm going to try hard to cut back on the sweets and the bad stuff, and to work in more healthy options. Wish me luck...


As for the baby, she is already 4 inches from head to tush, or about the size of an apple without arms or legs. But that part was obvious wasn't it...?
Not really any MAJOR developments this week... baby has gone through lots of big changes and now is just focused on growing! She's forming taste buds this week, but won't be able to taste anything just yet.


I should be able to feel her kick in a few weeks, which I'm really excited about. Sometimes I think I've felt her, but I know it's too early. This weekend I felt a movement, like a worm in there, but maybe it was just gas. Too soon to tell :-)

I'm not mature enough for this!

Pregnancy requires you to be very in tune with your body. You suddenly experience a range of physical changes that you start openly talking about with your doctor, and even other people. Some of these tend to be really funny and the immature side of me just can't handle it sometimes.

The most recent, and most hilarious example happened at yoga class this week. Ten or so of us girls, sitting around in a circle, relaxing with our eyes closed following the teacher's instructions. I'm now familiar with warrior poses, downward facing dog, etc... But wait a second - kegel exercises in yoga classes!? Yup.

As we were told to tighten our pelvic floor at the top of our breath, and then feel our peri-anal area soften as we release that breath, the 10 year old inside of me could barely stifle a laugh. 

Which brings me to another thought... do you guys know that your husbands are supposed to massage that peri-anal area during labor to help with the stretching of your vagina!!?? I'm sorry ladies, but REALLY!? My husband is a fantastic man and does a lot of the "dirty work" around the house but I think this is asking a bit much!! I just don't think I'm prepared for this "miracle" of birth if it involves massaging my butthole!

Fourteen Weeks!

So, what's going on with a fourteen week pregnant lady? Unfortunately for this blog, not much! I feel good, I'm sleeping well, I'm sure as hell eating well (and by well I mean a lot) and I'm in good spirits. 
I had a PERFECT weekend which consisted of LOTS of rest, lots of food, and lots of friends. I went to two parties and actually had a good time, alcohol free. I sound like a booze bag, but old habits die hard. Admittedly I did drink an O'Douls non-alcoholic beer haha. (When it's your only option, it's not that bad!)


At this point, I'm just waiting for a few significant milestones to occur. First, I'm waiting for that signature preggie belly to pop, second, I should start feeling the baby move in a few weeks, and third, I will find out the sex of the baby next week! 
You know what they say about 'a watch pot never boils'? Well, if that's true with my belly, I'm never going to grow! I got a bit discouraged after seeing a girl, 19 weeks pregnant, in my yoga class who didn't look a day pregnant. Maybe I'm a nut for wanting the belly so badly, and maybe she's happy that she can still wear her jeans, but I feel like it's a badge of honor. 


Ok, enough about me. What's my little fruit nugget up to this week? Well, she's a little dancing machine and a LOT more active. Hopefully she gets those moves from daddy, otherwise she's an extremely awkward dancing machine haha. She's also squinting, frowning, grimacing, and even sucking her thumb (awwwww!!!)
Her hair pattern is also determined this week, but we'll have to wait and see whether she is born with hair. My sister and I were both born with lots and lots of hair, and my sister's kids were as well, so I'm hoping for the same. 
She's about 3 1/2 inches long, or the size of a lemon.


Stay tuned for the BIG news next week.... boy or a girl....!?!?

Some Perspective...

So, in a casual conversation one of my colleague's asked me if I had any children. I told him that I was actually expecting my first in May. His first response was Dragon baby! He is Chinese and I forgot how heavily the Chinese rely on zodiac mythology.
So this got me poking around the internet for different information about zodiac signs, birthstone, etc. I don't have a particular interest or belief in the zodiac but it is fun to learn about. And for the record, I am VERY much a scorpio so maybe there is some truth to it.


So, here I am searching around, site to site and I found some information that was really....interesting. They are "fun" due date facts. Some were fun, some were SHOCKING.


Let's start with the fun:


Zodiac Sign: Taurus
Birthstone: Emerald
Birth Flower: Lily of the Valley or Hawthorn (I didn't even know we had birth flowers!!)
Chinese Zodiac: The Black Water Dragon (sick....)
Half Birthday: October 30
This time next year the baby will be 26 weeks old!


Ok, and now for the SHOCKING. This is only shocking because it makes me realize that I am going to get old, and that the future is long. This is exciting, but at the same time scary... So here it is:


Babies born on 5/1/2012 will start kindergarten in 2017, be old enough to drive a car in 2028, finish high school in 2030, and will graduate from college with the class of 2034, give or take a year.


HOLY CRAP RIGHT!!??

First Screen Results

Early last week I went to the doctor's for a combined screening to check for the risk of Down's Syndrome and Trisomy 18. The doctor took measurements of the baby's neck during the ultrasound and they also drew blood.
I received the results yesterday and although nothing is really guaranteed, the results are GREAT. I'm told that there is a 1:10,000 chance that the baby could have one of these diseases, which is really good. If there was a higher risk, they would have recommended further, more invasive screening like an amniocentesis. But I'm in the clear - yay!


I have another routine appointment on Halloween. I have literally been there every two weeks! There are routine appointments with the obgyn, and there are the appointments with the ultrasound tech, so they all add up.


The next thing I am looking forward to is finding out the sex! 
I decided to schedule an elective 'gender check' ultrasound appointment at Goldenview in Boston on 11/8. It's a 2D ultrasound with a quick 3D/4D peek at the baby. They also do a live streaming video of the entire session so family and friends that are interested can watch from home! What a great way to have the family find out the gender right along with us!
It's a little expensive, but I just can't wait any longer! I want to start painting and decorating and knowing my baby by name. I want to buy cute baby outifits (NOT in yellow or grey!!) and think about the future by being able to picture a little girl or a little boy in the house...


So, if you haven't voted on the gender in the poll to the right, do so now! We'll find out soon if the chinese gender chart is right (girl) or if the magic pee in the cup thingy (boy) was right!!

Honeymoon Trimester

Oh hey there second trimester!! So happy to finally see you!!
I am definitely feeling some of the benefits of the most glorious trimester. My spirits are up and I have more energy. Not much, but rather than falling asleep at 8pm on the couch, I actually stayed up until 10 last night. Whoa.


The first trimester was pure hell, and I hear the third is as well. So I will enjoy the next few months as much as I can!


Now that I'm feeling better I'm going to try to move around more and eat better. I bought a preggie yoga DVD so I can yoga-at-home, and I vow to walk more often on the treadmill. I will try to eat more fruits and veggies, but this is probably the toughest for me since my biggest cravings are SWEETS. I gained 2 pounds in the last week and I'm pretty sure it's the peanut butter cups and the box of frozen yogurt I single handedly consumed. Whoops. 


The second trimester is going to mean lots of growing for mom and baby. It also means that the dreaded risk of miscarriage drops dramatically (phew.)


This week, the baby is about 3 inches long, or the size of a shrimp. The baby is growing hair all over her body (also known as lanugo.) She is also her very own unique person and now has a unique set of fingerprints. She also looks very much like a little baby now.


Just a few more weeks until we find out if she really is a she!

Ohmmmmmmmmmmmm

So, I started prenatal yoga last night. I had a few goals in mind:
1. Stress relief
2. Physical activity
3. Meet other preggie moms


In just one visit, I accomplished all three. I literally came home and told Jason that I was going to dedicate the rest of my life to the practice of yoga. I was going to spend whatever was necessary to go to yoga AT LEAST once a week. Yeah, I was exaggerating and yeah, I was on a 'yoga high' but there was some truth to it.


Mentally, without a doubt, I obtained some stress relief. Every day I wake up and I am almost immediately plugged into my computer for work. After work, I am almost always staring at a TV, my phone, or playing with my iPad. I am ALWAYS connected to electronics. For one hour, I was able to completely unplug and instead, connect with what matters!! Me and my baby. I was able to focus all my attention on my breathing, my movements, and the positive energy I needed to send to the baby. 
Sounds a little fluffy, I know, but I had never felt so close to the baby. I had an overwhelming sense of love and protection. It was amazing...


Physically, I got moving. I wouldn't really call it a workout, but with every movement I could feel the tension leaving my body. I could feel my joints and muscles moving and it felt great.


And I met a mommy. A very nice, very preggie mommy took me under her wing and showed me what I needed, how to set up, etc. She made it so I wasn't completely lost and I was very grateful.


The class had preggie ladies of all stages and not once did I feel out of place. I can't wait to go back!! I think I will buy some prenatal yoga DVDs so that I can practice anytime I'm feeling stressed and will not have to wait for a class.


Thank you yoga. Namaste.

Belly Lump

I'm coining a new phrase... the belly lump. This is different than Fergie's "lady lumps"... but those are getting bigger too haha.
This is what comes before the 'official' belly bump :-) And this is what a 12 week belly lump looks like!
Don't I look like I had too many cheeseburgers? Or went on a beer drinking binge? 

12 weeks

I've reached the 12 week mark! Woohoo!!!
Some of my books and web sites say this is the end of the 1st trimester, but if you divide 40 weeks by 3, it would technically be when I turn 13 weeks. But who's counting...


I'm feeling much better than last week. I don't think I've cried since that episode of X Factor last week - but don't want to jinx myself! Who knows what can set this pregnant lady off!


I'm starting a prenatal yoga class tomorrow and I'm really excited about it. I need it on so many levels... mentally I think it will help calm me down, even if it's only for an hour, once a week; physically I need to get stretching and moving; and socially I'm looking forward to meeting other preggie chicks! At $12 a class that's less than what I used to spend a week on cigarettes, and you can do the math on the cost vs. benefit!


So what's going on with the baby? Well the "peanut" has upgraded from a fig to a lime. (Does anyone else find all these food associations with my baby just a little disturbing?)
I'm reading that the baby's most dramatic changes are that the fingers now open and close, the toes curl, eye muscles clench, and the baby will start to make sucking motions -- in other words, reflexes! Cool.


I'm still waiting for that signature baby bump to arrive. I wake up every morning and feel my tummy. Even though I know it's too early. It's really neat feeling myself grow, even if it's just a bit of padding so far. Too early for maternity clothes, but too lumpy to fit into my jeans. 
Thank you inventors of the bella band. I can still wear my old jeans but unzipped and no one knows the difference. Except you, now that you've read this haha.


Let's hope that the yoga gets me off this crazy train and I can enjoy the wonderful 2nd trimester. I'm hearing that it really is the best of the 3.

First Screen (and more pictures!!)

Picture day!! We had an ultrasound appointment today (my favorite.) The ultrasound tech asked me if I knew why we were there. I didn't know - I was only focused on the fact that I could see little peanut again! (Who is actually much larger than a peanut I might add.) The reason we were there was actually a very serious and important one. We were there for what is called the "First Trimester Screen."

This is a test that combines results from bloodwork and ultrasound to test for risk of chromosomal abnomalities - Down's Syndrome and Trisomy-18. The ultrasound tech was taking pictures of the baby to measure "nuchal translucency" which is measuring part of the neck. It's not a fool proof test. But if there are warning signs, then we would be asked to perform more invasive testing. I will have to wait for the results of the combination testing, but she said that from what she could measure, everything was in the normal range. What a relief.

This ultrasound was so completely different than the last one. We got to see the baby for a while, and (s)he is an active little thing!! It was so cool to see. The baby flips and turns and waves and wiggles. It's pretty interesting to see since I can't feel any of it.

We also learned a couple of interesting things about my body. First, I have an anterior placenta. This means that the placenta is located at top of my uterus, close to my abdomen. This is fine, and occurs in about 50% of pregnancies, but means that I might not be able to feel the baby kick as soon as other mommies, because the placenta will act as a cushion.

It also explains why it was hard for the obgyn to detect fetal heart rate. Again, the placenta blocks the doppler. 

I also got to see my ovaries and the technician could see which ovary I ovulated from to make the baby. SO cool! Completely useless information, but man science is fascinating. In case you're wondering (which I'm sure you're not), my right ovary made the baby. 

Here are some pictures of the baby below. SO much different than the pictures a few weeks ago. You can really see the profile now! Cutest nose on the planet!! (Yep...I'm already a proud mommy.)

11 weeks

So, I'm now 11 weeks pregnant. That countdown on the sidebar is haunting me... 203 days left!? Really!? My boss laughs at me and says that I'm 'just not a good pregnant lady.' Is there such a thing? Do people REALLY enjoy this!? They must, since I see people out there with more than one child. Do they brainwash you in the hospital after the baby is born or something? Because I will tell you right now - I will NOT do this again. 


Oh, I know, you will all say - yes you will! You'll want another! You'll get baby fever! Ok, well I'll take baby fever over another 40 weeks of pregnancy any day! I'll make my friends have more kids so I can 'get my fix'!! I will not go through this process again! I will not willingly subject myself to nausea, constipation, and crazy mood swings again! And I am so sure of this - only 11 weeks in. What kind of crazy person am I going to be come April!!??


I welcome your feedback on this mommies, but Jason and I have already made the decision. It's a personal choice, partly financial, partly emotional. We want to be able to afford private school, we want to be able to vacation easily without having to attend to children of different ages, and well frankly we went from not wanting any, to wanting one. So we'll stick with that.


So, you know how I'M doing at 11 weeks (no longer sick in the morning, but now sick in the head.) But what's baby up to? Let's take a look:


Peanut is about an inch and a half long and when looking at that fruit comparison is now being compared to a fig. Not easy to envision since I've only eaten a fig once and was already sliced for me, so I've never seen one whole. 
Baby is moving and kicking up a storm and now hiccuping, but I won't be able to feel it for a few more months. 
The other major development is that the baby now has reflexes and can feel. So if I were to poke my belly, the baby would respond and move. And they say during this week that the baby starts to explore it's face. 


Despite how much I've complained about being pregnant, reading my weekly updates brings me so much joy. I will have to admit that I spent a good deal of time in the beginning worrying if the pregnancy would 'stick.' I'm close to the second trimester now, and no longer have that fear. I'm starting to really bond with the baby and I'm completely fascinated that I'm growing a person. It's insane, really. I am truly a person without patience and waiting for May 1st to arrive is a real test of my character. I can't wait to meet him or her!!

Symptom alert! From tilt-a-whirl to crazy-ass-bitch...

Oh boy. I'm only 11 weeks into my pregnancy and I am ready to be done. I had NO idea there were so many symptoms associated with pregnancy. For the first 10 or so weeks they were mostly physical (I was nauseous, constipated, gassy, exhausted) Sorry, I know, TMI. 


Now I'm entering the realm of emotional symptoms... and whoa - it ain't pretty!


Goodbye morning sickness, hello mood swings! This is something like PMS, on some level, but this is PMS times a gazillion. 


One minute, I'm crying uncontrollably. That minute can last anywhere from a few moments to hours. I literally cried like someone died for hours one day because my husband said 'the wrong thing.' I cried through 2 hours of the show XFactor. A singing contest. Every song made me cry.
Another minute I am PISSED OFF. Again, because my poor husband 'said the wrong thing.' 
Another minute I am jealous beyond all reason. I have no reason to be, mind you.
And another minute I could be ridiculously giddy and seemingly normal. Don't be fooled! I am NOT stable and these 'normal' moments are fleeting. 


Can someone please find the old Nicole and return her? 


I thought pregnancy was supposed to be beautiful, and happy! (Anyone who has been pregnant is laughing uncontrollably, I'm sure.) So far I have been an unstable farting machine. Beautiful? HA! That glow on my face? That's grease. Happy? HA! Get too close and I might hurt you.


I hope that this all changes once the baby is born, though I'm petrified that the guaranteed lack of sleep and chance of postpartum depression is just going to make this worse. I think I will express my concerns with my doctor. I can't live like this for too long, and I would like to stay married through this experience!!


A friend of mine gave me a great book for Jason. It's perfectly named 'Pregnancy Sucks. What to do when your miracle makes you both miserable.' Honestly, I'm learning as much from reading it as he is. It makes me feel like I'm not the only one feeling this way, that in many ways it's 'normal' (even though I feel anything but.) It doesn't really help change anything. Jason still wants the old me back, as do I. But I guess it does help us both know that it's only temporary, and it's not just us...


As a final note, I've heard people talk about a 'push present' that the husband is to present to his wife as a 'thank you' for carrying and delivering the baby. If that is true, then I owe him a 'thank you' as well for living with (and not killing) this crazy-ass-bitch that took over his life for 40 weeks (and possibly longer!) 

Gender test...is it right!?

So, they have these over the counter gender prediction tests that you can buy at Walgreens / CVS / etc. In an effort to take advantage of all that science has to offer (and to pacify my increasing excitement to find out the gender) I bought one of these things.


It's called Intelligender, it cost about $30 (I know, I'm crazy) and the basic idea is that you pee in a cup, add it to this cup of 'magic' crystals, wait 5 minutes and it tells you whether you're having a boy or a girl!
But does it really work? Well, we'll have to wait another few months to verify the results.... but for now - it says it's a boy!

We were both convinced it's a girl. We both really wanted a boy in the beginning, but it's funny how a new idea can settle in, because we both became really comfortable and excited about having a girl! 2D ultrasound can't detect gender until around 19 weeks... so we'll just have to wait.

But for now - please vote in the poll on the side! And in a few months I'll let you know!