Friday, November 4, 2011

I'm not mature enough for this!

Pregnancy requires you to be very in tune with your body. You suddenly experience a range of physical changes that you start openly talking about with your doctor, and even other people. Some of these tend to be really funny and the immature side of me just can't handle it sometimes.

The most recent, and most hilarious example happened at yoga class this week. Ten or so of us girls, sitting around in a circle, relaxing with our eyes closed following the teacher's instructions. I'm now familiar with warrior poses, downward facing dog, etc... But wait a second - kegel exercises in yoga classes!? Yup.
As we were told to tighten our pelvic floor at the top of our breath, and then feel our peri-anal area soften as we release that breath, the 10 year old inside of me could barely stifle a laugh. 

Which brings me to another thought... do you guys know that your husbands are supposed to massage that peri-anal area during labor to help with the stretching of your vagina!!?? I'm sorry ladies, but REALLY!? My husband is a fantastic man and does a lot of the "dirty work" around the house but I think this is asking a bit much!! I just don't think I'm prepared for this "miracle" of birth if it involves massaging my butthole!

3 comments:

  1. Funny! I had a good laugh at this. Tooo much to ask from any husband. Hope you had a good laugh also.

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  2. ok, so I have thoughts on this.
    When I was giving birth to Bella, Sean and I were not together for very long at that point (we were sluts...jk). I was so afraid that he was going to see me poop on the table while pushing, so I held her in...really.
    I was just beyond embarrassed. The covered my booty sheet so nothing was seen, they also never asked Sean to rub my Peri-anal area, and thank God.

    I'll tell you what, second baby labor I would have forced him to do so if I thought it would help. I just wanted his huge head to get the F out of the way!

    Best blog yet.

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  3. Oh, if you do water birth, the husband gets a poop fishing net!

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