She's a .... BOY!!??

NEVER doubt a mother's instinct... 
I had my 18 week ultrasound today and wouldn't you know, my fears were right. My little baby girl is actually a baby BOY!
(pause for shock)
Yes, you heard it. Einhorn is Finkle!


So, we go in today and during the ultrasound I decided not to mention our early elective gender check. The u/s tech is going through all of the motions... measuring baby's head, abdomen, 10 fingers, 10 toes, strong beating heart... and a scrotum...!!?? Cue the tears.
Of course, that's not the typical reaction to finding out the gender of your baby and so the tech started to question why I was crying. Jason explained and she felt badly for me. She had actually worked at Goldenview for a few months and quit.


First let me say this: the baby is completely normal and healthy and every way. And for that I am so very thankful. I love this little being inside of me with such a protective and fierce love that it doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl.
BUT - I felt such a sense of shock, and loss, that it took me a while to come to grips with this news. I connected with what I thought would be a daughter... I bought clothes, I received pink gifts... Who would believe this would really happen!?
I'm surprisingly feeling ok about it now. Not 100% ok, but a lot better than I expected. So, I lost some $$ on some clothes. I can return most of it hopefully, and I can donate the rest to a family who needs it. So I have to pick out a new nursery theme... No big deal. The furniture and glider I picked out is neutral, the room hasn't been painted. And so life goes on...


I'm disappointed that Goldenview advertises that they can check gender so early and I think it's a terrible business practice. I'm disappointed that the u/s tech had sent us out of there saying that it was "100% a girl" when she should have known that it may not have been. The doctor said that the scrotum sometimes doesn't descend until around 18 weeks, and the boy parts can be hiding. Today, our little boy was having a baby boner and so it was clearly visible. Yes, a baby boner. Jason suprisingly stifled his beavis and butthead laugh when she said that the baby has erections.


So now my mentality shifts a bit. No more cute dresses and hair bows. No cute cupcake outfits, pink polka dots or frilly hearts... Now I have to adjust with another man in the house. We have to teach him how to be respectful of women, smart, strong and focused. I will love him just as much, but just a little differently.
And MAYBE my idea of only having one has changed a little bit... maybe... ;-)

Here are his little feet:

 And a profile pic: